Raised to be a lady by the golden rule 
Alice was the spawn of a public school 
With a double barrel name in the back of her brain 
And a simple case of Mummy-doesn't-love-me blues 

Reality it seems was just a dream 
She couldn't get it on with the boys on the scene 
But what do you expect from a chick who's just sixteen 
And hey, hey, hey, you know what I mean 

All the young girls love Alice 
Tender young Alice they say 
Come over and see me 
Come over and please me 
Alice it's my turn today 

All the young girls love Alice 
Tender young Alice they say 
If I give you my number 
Will you promise to call me 
Wait till my husband's away 

Poor little darling with a chip out of her heart 
It's like acting in a movie when you got the wrong part 
Getting your kicks in another girl's bed 
And it was only last Tuesday they found you in the subway dead 

And who could you call your friends down in Soho 
One or two middle-aged dykes in a Go-Go 
And what do you expect from a sixteen year old yo-yo 
And hey, hey, hey, oh don't you know